This Guy's Robbery With A Baseball Bat Did NOT Go To Plan

Fox - A would-be robber armed with a baseball bat was taken by surprise when a man inside the house in Florida put him in a bear hug and his wife grabbed the bat and beat him.

Local media outlets report that 33-year-old Noah Jess Dassat of Santa Cruz, California, ran away from the home on June 23. But authorities caught up with him after they say he used a fake name while being treated for his injuries at a hospital.

He now faces charges of armed robbery, battery and criminal mischief.

——

What a fucking loser. You cannot be much worse at breaking and entering than this guy Noah right here. First of all, you have, have, have to put in a little bit of ground work and make sure nobody is home when you go to attempt a burglary. It’s the easiest thing to do in the world. If you have a house in your sights, you just wait for the people to leave, it’s burglary 101. Not only did he break into a house while everyone was still home, he had a weapon and didn’t even use it. Smart! Instead he got his ass handed to him like he was the next victim of the Bear Jew from Inglourious Basterds and ran away like a little bitch to the hospital. I love his whimpering headshot too. Frowny face for days. Just all in all a 0/10 performance from him.